Hard physically, mentally and emotionally

October 26, 2014
The last 2 days have been hard, physically, mentally and emotionally.  I miss family and home tremendously and the fact that Arouna has been a bit fussier the last 2 days has made it seem even worse.  Don't get me wrong....I have really enjoyed my time here with my parents.  They have been so helpful everyday and take care of Arouna anytime that I need to do something.  But I think it's the fact that all the stress of his medical appointments and his daily care is on me in the end.  The last few days I think Satan is trying to get inside my head and discourage me with thoughts that maybe I don't have what it takes to care for Arouna.  Maybe I'm not the best for him.  Maybe he would have been better off to stay in the orphanage, in a warm climate, in a simple environment that is not so loud and busy.  Maybe what we did was a mistake for him and for us.  I know these things aren't true, but when he's crying and I can't figure out why, these thoughts will at times go thru my head.  I don't know....  maybe I just need another good nights' sleep and things will seem brighter in the morning. 
The sermon at church today was exactly what I needed.  It was from Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future".  I believe that verse for my family and also for Arouna.  He led us to this, provided the funds for it and worked out every detail along the way.  I knew it wouldn't be easy and I really don't believe that God calls us to easy.  It wasn't easy for Paul or even for Jesus, for that matter.  So I need to rely on God in the times when my strength is gone and when I feel weak.  Because when I am weak, He is strong.  
Good news is that Robert and Maleah are coming to visit here on November 1-6  before they go to Alberta for the annual IMB retreat.  I was supposed to be going too with Arouna, but unless a small miracle happens, we won't be able to go.  But them coming to see me is a tremendous treat.  I can't wait to see them both.  It will be 8 weeks since I've seen Maleah and 5 weeks since I've seen Robert.  I've never been apart from my family so long.  Haley is not able to come because of school.