About a week ago, I posted Arouna's 2 month home update. I got some comments back about how well Arouna was doing and how much he's changed. But I didn't get any comments about the end of the blog post about how much of a transition this has been for Mom. Then when I looked back over the post, I must not have saved that part, because it wasn't there. So I'll include that here.
Arouna is doing well and has changed in many ways, as I wrote about. But in all honesty, not everything is rainbows and roses and so I don't want to paint that picture. Adoption is difficult whether the child has special needs or is completely healthy. It is not the way that God intended children to start their life. He didn't intend for a parent/or parents to abandon, give up, throw away or abuse their children. But as we all know, life is totally unfair, humans are very selfish, and so adoption has been created to make up for our humanness and selfishness.
My son is no exception to the unfairness of life. He was left to die in an abandoned house for 3 days after his birth, which could have resulted in his brain injury. Whether it did or didn't, he along with many other children have to be raised outside his birth country and culture, in a temperature that he is not used to, by people that are unknown to him. And all of that brings transitions and adjustments. Not only for him but for the whole family.
And I'm no exception to having to adjust to this new "normal". After 2 months time, the honeymoon phase has worn off and there are days that are just difficult to get thru. And I know what you're all thinking.....But Sharon, you are the one who chose this. You are the one who wanted this and pushed for this. Didn't you realize there would be days that are difficult and hard? Well yes, I knew this would be no picnic everyday. It would be hard in many ways. I figured it would be hard physically with the total care of a child for years to come. But I don't think I realized the emotional difficulty that would come with adoption. The endless worrying of what else could I be doing to help him. The pain of seeing him experience a seizure and not be able to stop it. The pain of hearing him cry and not know why and wonder if he'll ever be able to tell me. The pain of wondering if he even really realizes I'm Mom.
And those are just a few of the emotional struggles that come with my new life. There is also nights of not much sleep, running thru the grocery store or Wal-mart to accomplish my shopping list before he starts screaming, not being able to exercise certain days because of putting his needs first, etc. My new "normal" is going to take some time to get used to. Maybe months, possibly a full year.
And with all this adjustment, transition and struggle.....I really would NOT change a thing. I don't want to look back. I only want to go forward and look forward to the future. It may be a little bit more challenging future or a lot more challenging some days, but one that is worth every struggle and hard moment. And sometimes, the thing that gets me thru hard days is the fact that we have a hope that is so much greater than life on this earth. A life with no more seizures, no more brain injury, and a body that works perfectly well. With that assurance, we can make it thru the good and the bad days.
Monday, 8 December 2014
Monday, 1 December 2014
2 months home
This post comes a few days later than the actual 2 month home date, but it's a holiday week here in the states and I've been a bit lazy. Or as lazy as you can be while still caring for a 2 year old special needs kiddo. It's hard to believe that 2 months have already passed by. We thought that by this time, we(Arouna and I) would be back in Quebec with the rest of the family, but for reasons nobody can quite understand, we aren't. It is beginning to look as though we will not be returning to Quebec until next June. Robert and the rest of the family will arrive in Arkansas around the 20th of December for Christmas and then Robert, Maleah, Arouna and I will be living in Hot Springs, Arkansas, from January to June. During that time, we will occupy a fully furnished house that Hot Springs Baptist Church is allowing us to live in.
Now back to the whole purpose for this post....which is to give a bit of an update on Arouna and where he seems to be now compared to when he came home.
Physically: He has gained 3lbs and 2 inches in height since coming home. He now has chubby cheeks and his little arms and legs don't resemble a child from a World Vision commercial.
Socially: He gets excited and gets a big smile on his face now when we come in to get him from his bed in the morning. He enjoys being held and prefers it now. He loves to be rocked and sung to now before his nap and bedtime. Many times he will fall asleep while we're singing to him but if he doesn't, he will sit still and listen until we stop. It's the only time of the day that he is still.
Strength: He's gained a lot of strength in his legs. Although he could already support his weight on his legs, now he can stand for much longer with all his weight on his legs. He has no balance yet, but he has the strength to walk. His arms are much stronger and he can push his chest off the floor for longer periods of time.
Playing: Although he still doesn't reach much for toys or try to play with them, he is definitely more aware of them. He does focus for longer periods of time on objects. There are a few times he has reached for things, but doesn't know what to do when he does. He is also more aware of the world around him. Before, he was mostly in his own little world, but now he notices things more and focuses more. He also knows now when we are playing with him and responds with giggles and laughs.
Eating: He is eating a wide variety of things. Fruits, vegetables, some meat, a little dairy. He seems to love most foods, but still has to have most things pureed. He will chew very soft things like peaches or banana bread, but most things, he will just swallow without chewing. We have to completely feed him but a few times we have caught him trying to grab the spoon when we bring it to his mouth.
Vocally: He is vocalizing quite a bit, at times positively and at times negatively. Sometimes I can really tell that he is trying so hard to tell me something, but it is only syllables and babble. He is really quite loud at times.
Bathing and dressing: He loves his bathtime and he has one every night. As soon as we start taking off his socks, he knows that bathtime is coming and he gets all excited and a huge smile on his face. When putting him in the water, he laughs and giggles for the first 2 minutes or so. He loves to lay back in his tub and has no fear of putting his face completely under the water. Of course, it surprises the heck out of him and he comes up with big eyes and a bit of a sputter. But opposite of bathtime, he hates getting dressed and changing his diaper. And he knows as soon as we start toward the bedroom, that we are going to be changing his diaper. He starts crying before we get there.
Medically: From an MRI, he has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy due to lack of oxygen or blood supply at birth or soon after. At the present time, he has myoclonic seizures that we are trying to get rid of with medication. His ears have been checked and his outer, middle and inner ears are hearing normally and there is no damage from the nerve of the ear to the brain. Visually, it is hard to tell how well he sees but there doesn't seem to be any damage to the eyes.
All in all: He is a very sweet, content little boy who seems to be coming out of a shell of some sort. It was almost as if he was in a trance when we picked him up and now he is totally ready to explore the world. He is active and there is always something on his body that is moving when he is awake.
Now back to the whole purpose for this post....which is to give a bit of an update on Arouna and where he seems to be now compared to when he came home.
Physically: He has gained 3lbs and 2 inches in height since coming home. He now has chubby cheeks and his little arms and legs don't resemble a child from a World Vision commercial.
Socially: He gets excited and gets a big smile on his face now when we come in to get him from his bed in the morning. He enjoys being held and prefers it now. He loves to be rocked and sung to now before his nap and bedtime. Many times he will fall asleep while we're singing to him but if he doesn't, he will sit still and listen until we stop. It's the only time of the day that he is still.
Strength: He's gained a lot of strength in his legs. Although he could already support his weight on his legs, now he can stand for much longer with all his weight on his legs. He has no balance yet, but he has the strength to walk. His arms are much stronger and he can push his chest off the floor for longer periods of time.
Playing: Although he still doesn't reach much for toys or try to play with them, he is definitely more aware of them. He does focus for longer periods of time on objects. There are a few times he has reached for things, but doesn't know what to do when he does. He is also more aware of the world around him. Before, he was mostly in his own little world, but now he notices things more and focuses more. He also knows now when we are playing with him and responds with giggles and laughs.
Eating: He is eating a wide variety of things. Fruits, vegetables, some meat, a little dairy. He seems to love most foods, but still has to have most things pureed. He will chew very soft things like peaches or banana bread, but most things, he will just swallow without chewing. We have to completely feed him but a few times we have caught him trying to grab the spoon when we bring it to his mouth.
Vocally: He is vocalizing quite a bit, at times positively and at times negatively. Sometimes I can really tell that he is trying so hard to tell me something, but it is only syllables and babble. He is really quite loud at times.
Bathing and dressing: He loves his bathtime and he has one every night. As soon as we start taking off his socks, he knows that bathtime is coming and he gets all excited and a huge smile on his face. When putting him in the water, he laughs and giggles for the first 2 minutes or so. He loves to lay back in his tub and has no fear of putting his face completely under the water. Of course, it surprises the heck out of him and he comes up with big eyes and a bit of a sputter. But opposite of bathtime, he hates getting dressed and changing his diaper. And he knows as soon as we start toward the bedroom, that we are going to be changing his diaper. He starts crying before we get there.
Medically: From an MRI, he has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy due to lack of oxygen or blood supply at birth or soon after. At the present time, he has myoclonic seizures that we are trying to get rid of with medication. His ears have been checked and his outer, middle and inner ears are hearing normally and there is no damage from the nerve of the ear to the brain. Visually, it is hard to tell how well he sees but there doesn't seem to be any damage to the eyes.
All in all: He is a very sweet, content little boy who seems to be coming out of a shell of some sort. It was almost as if he was in a trance when we picked him up and now he is totally ready to explore the world. He is active and there is always something on his body that is moving when he is awake.
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| 2 months home |
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| Before coming home |
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